You Nork!

Last day in BA

2011-02-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

Today is my last day in Argentina. We fly out of Buenos Aires in a few hours, so I took time today to appreciate all the things I will miss most about this city.

1. The bookstores. Buenos Aires has more bookstores per capita than any other city. I love this for two reasons. Firstly, because I think that is directly correlated to the intelligence of a city. And secondly, because I love going to bookstores. I can sit for hours and browse the titles. Of course, at the book stores here, I have no idea what they mean. But it can be fun to match the Spanish to popular English titles I’m familiar with. One bookstore in particular, El Ateneo, is the most beautiful bookstore I’ve ever seen.

2. Helado. Second to Italy and Birite Creamery, Buenos Aires has some of the best ice cream I’ve ever had.

As you can see, they're big fans of their Dulce de Leche.

3. 25 cent subway rides. You really just can’t beat that.

So chau for now Buenos Aires. Hopefully I’ll return someday.

The horses of Patagonia

2011-02-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

Today we had a bit of a scare.

We spent the morning on a nice mellow horse back ride through the forests of Patagonia.

Five minutes from the end of the ride, I decide I'm sick of holding the backpack (very uncomfortable when bouncing up and down in a saddle). So I catch my horse up to Wes's, not an easy feat. I'm passing the backpack over to Wes, who leans out just enough to grab it. When his horse, Caramello, who turns out to be a complete asshole, sees his chance.

Carmello starts bolting up through the trees as fast as he can with Wes, halfway out of the saddle hanging on for dear life. Rather then getting his head bonked into some tree, Wes decides it's best to just let go and fall into a pricker bush.

He emerged, pretty scraped up, but in one piece. Unfortunately, he was in a bit of shock and proceeded to go completely white and just about passed out, which scared me almost more than seeing the horse take off.

His back still really hurts, but the doctor says he should be back to normal by the end of the week. There isn't really any bright side to this story, accept that I got to work on my Spanish today, learning new words such as "X-ray" and "muscle spasm."

Also, there was a very pretty sunset.

Aside from the asshole horses, Patagonia is quite lovely.

Guess who has a boyfriend...

2011-02-02T05:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, so they came as a pair, it's not like I introduced them. But Penelope Cruiser and Tom Cruiser have been taking in all the sights of Buenos Aires together.

They've been having a grand time (except that Tom Cruiser continuously complains that it's too hot and threatens to go back to the apartment and do nothing in the air conditioning all day).

Tango and Spanish

2011-02-01T17:36:00.000-08:00

Last night I bumped into my Spanish teacher at the Tango club (as one does when one is in Buenos Aires).

He asked me if I wanted to dance.

I told him "Puedo bailar tango como puedo hablar Espanol." (I can dance tango about as well as I speak Spanish."

He smiled and said, "So then very well!"

Proving once again that Argentine men are true caballeros.

Puente de la Mujer

2011-01-31T08:29:00.000-08:00

In the flashy marina area of Buenos Aires, Puerto Modero, lies the majestic Puente de la Mujer, "Woman's Bridge."

This bridge, created to look like a couple dancing Tango (yeah, I don't see it either), is named for the streets around it, which are all named after powerful women in Argentina's history. A country that, in fact, has a female president.

I can't help but wonder, however, whether this bridge was built before or after the Hooters that sits directly next to it (this picture was taken from the bridge).

Ah, America. We bring such great things to the world.

Iguazu Falls

2011-01-27T18:53:00.000-08:00

We returned from a three-day trip to Iguazu falls on Tuesday, and since then, I’ve been trying to figure out exactly how to put the experience into words. It was really beyond description. Waterfalls, butterflies and rainbows. It was like Carebear land. If Carebear land was full of Argentine tourists.

It was Disneyland meets California Academy of Sciences meets Niagra Falls. Despite it being in the mid-90’s and thickly humid, we had an amazing time.

I couldn’t narrow my 300 photos down to just a couple, so here i a totally manageable 48:

Weekend in Igazu.

Now I've seen it all

2011-01-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

It's Alf. In Spanish!

Two-wheeled and shiny

2011-01-19T14:40:00.000-08:00

What has two wheels, a shiny fusia finish and can get me around Buenos Aires?

Give up? It’s my nueva bicicletta.

Perhaps an odd purchase in a city where red lights are seen as merely a suggestion and lane markers, simply guidelines. But luckily there are enough of these:

(Designated bike lanes) to make navigating the city by bike feasible, almost pleasant.

Today, Penelope Cruiser (that’s my name for her) and I, rode all over town.

To parks,

museums,

And random statues.

Me gusta!

Chef Berkeley

2011-01-18T12:22:00.000-08:00

Our Taxi driver last night was thrilled to learn we were from California. He regaled us in Spanish with stories about how he loved California because it was the home of his favorite singer: Chef Berkeley.

Wes and I nodded politely, though we both had the same thought: “Who the hell is Chef Berkeley?” You would think that if some random Argentine cab driver knew every song by this Californian Cantandor, we should at least have heard his name before.

The driver told us stories of how Chef’s tunes transcended the lyrics and the listener could feel the meaning of the song. How his son loved all his CD's, even though he was 11 and spoke no English.

He talked and talked, and finally, when he started naming some song titles and even hummed a few songs, we realize that his favorite singer was not Chef Berkeley, but Jeff Buckley!

Argentinians can't pronounce the English J. It's very cute. Just ask my U.S. pal here, Jack, who's been going by "Shack" since arriving in BA.

Entiendo, pero no peudo hablar bien

2011-01-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

In other words, I can understand, but I still can't speak, at least, not well.

This afternoon, the doorman explained to me that Patricia was trying to get ahold of us.

Doorman (in Spanish): "You're in apartment 11b? Hold on one moment, I have a message from Patricia.."

Me (in Spanish): "Ah, yes. Uh, we talk to her. Speak to her. We speak with Patricia... but um... in the past. I'm learning Spanish. It's very hard."

Everyone has been very patient and helpful though. Go Argentina!

Archeirises

2011-01-15T09:07:00.002-08:00

This city sure loves it's rainbows. In the two weeks I've been here, I've seen three.

Nuestro departamento

2011-01-14T08:54:00.000-08:00

More about the most exciting part of Buenos Aires - our apartment!

Here is the view from our 11th floor "Departamento" at sunset.

And the cute little mini-office Wes has created for himself in our spare bedroom.

We also have a really nice gym on the 18th floor, but I have not taken a picture of that.

Argentina Resto Bar

2011-01-13T07:39:00.001-08:00

Tango is hard.

2011-01-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

Wes and I went to our first tango “lesson” today.

I’ve been Swing dancing. I’ve been to Salsa. I’ve taken jazz and tap and Bhangra. I know how this dance class thing works. I assumed the teacher would show us a few basic steps. Or at least explain the rhythm. But apparently that is not how tango is done.

Instead, the teacher just talked about the feeling of Tango. About the connection between the dancers. At least, this is what I think he talked about. But since it was all in Spanish, I’m just guessing (see earlier post about Spanish being hard).

So, Wes and I were left knowing no Tango at all. But we know the idea of Tango. As far as I can tell, it's kind of a free-for-all. But much harder.

Tango is hard. Spanish is hard. However, life in Buenos Aires is surprisingly easy. The clean and frequently-running subway cost 30 cents. Need I say more?

4 a.m.

2011-01-08T22:58:00.000-08:00

And I'm just getting home from the bars, after muchos steak, Malbec and Tango dancing.

I've been here almost a week and I FINALLY feel like I'm in Argentina.

Bueno.

Day four

2011-01-06T20:51:00.000-08:00

And I'm finally starting to feel settled.

Also, I'm finally starting to speak Spanish. In class, we're learning eight gazillion tenses, like how to say what might have happened in the near present past perfect future.

In real life, I took a cab home all by myself tonight and told the cabbie where to turn right. I call that progress.

In other leaps and bounds, Wes found Argentina on a map (of Argentina)

Our Spanish school is located next to the Casa Rosada, from which Eva Peron spoke to the masses. More importantly, it's also where they filmed Madonna singing "Don't cry for me Argentina" in the musical film Evita

Now I've really made it.

2011-01-05T21:01:00.000-08:00

while I'm extremely excited to be in Argentina, my brain has been in the States for the last two days, where my little company is blowing up (in a good way).

I'm proud to say that the Hot Guys and Baby Animals was featured on the one and only Ellen DeGeneres show. I'm a big fan of hers. And now, I like to think, she's a big fan of me :)

This is the one-minute highlight reel from the show (yes, we made it into the one-minute highlight - almost more impressive that being on the show!)

Next - Hot Guys in Bubble Wrap.

Spanish is hard

2011-01-04T21:47:00.001-08:00

I’m taking four hours a day, five days a week of Spanish while in Buenos Aires. I’m inappropriately placed in level 2, which is my own fault. I didn’t want to suffer though “Hola como estas” over and over with a bunch of people who’d never taken Spanish before.

I took Spanish for three years in elementary school.

After floundering through four different tenses and countless irregular verbs, I’m starting to think that my elementary-level Spanish did not perhaps qualify me for this. Now that I think about it, we mostly just sang songs about chocolate and learned the bunny hop in Spanish.

What I realized today is that I don’t actually want to learn Spanish. I want to just know it.

New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-02T12:32:00.000-08:00

While I don’t completely believe in New Year’s resolutions (I find them generally ineffective), I have decided to make one this year:

Write more.

This includes, among other media, my blog. Yes, I have all but abandoned it for the last year while my mind was monopolized other personal endeavors (namely, Hot Guys and Baby Animals). Running a small business is no small feat, as it turns out. But after a year, we’ve wrangled the business to a more manageable place, i.e., hired a college kids to do all our shipping and sold the rights to 2012 calendar to SourceBooks.

So now, I am free to do more personal growth, starting with a six-week trip to Argentina with my boyfriend. Not a bad start to 2011.

I will update You Nork as frequently as I can so those of you who want to can stay abreast of my Argentinean adventures.

Happy new year.

Diary Fridays

2010-02-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

Remember how I used to write excerpts from my childhood journals? Well, I found a little paragraph the other day that cracked me up. It was from when I was the young impressionable age of 30 and living in my place in Brooklyn. The best thing about reading my old journals - they crack me up; I have my exact sense of humor:

Last night I had the apartment to myself since Claire was house-sitting and Cate and Saro are on a road trip. So what did I do?

Did I invite a boy over for a romantic evening alone? No. Did I throw a raging party? No. Did I take a shower, lie on the couch naked and watch a documentary about coral? Yes. Yes I did. It was awesome.

Monochrome

2010-02-09T13:08:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, I was invited to a Monochromatic party. If there’s one thing I’m a sucker for, it’s a cleverly titled theme party (the weekend before I attended The Donner Party).

The Monochromatic party was fun. I went as brown. The theme made for some fun group rainbow pictures:

They grow up so fast

2010-02-04T15:16:00.001-08:00

What two months ago were itty bitty baby chickies...

Are now full grown handsome hens.

I'm pleased to announce that after much searching, Lulu and Mr (Miss) Peeps finally have a home in my parents' backyard. They are very happy with their new coop: Coop D'etat.

Giving credit to blogs far funnier than mine.

2010-02-01T21:57:00.000-08:00

See, why I can't be this funny?

The dog’s ability to fully surrender aroused in him a feeling of discontent and resentment.

Check out all the hilarious captions to random pics from Dwell at Unhappy Hipsters.

Celebreality

2010-01-27T11:04:00.000-08:00

I just discovered a new show on VH1. It's not actually new to the world, as it's in its third season. But it's new to me, as I don't usually watch much TV aside from 30 Rock, Madmen, and Glee (I LOVE Glee). This "new" show is called Celebrity Rehab and features real sports stars, rock stars, actresses, famous Hollywood madames, etc. trying to get themselves off whatever substance they've been abusing and get their lives back on track. These people have reached the bottoms of their personal barrels. They are wrecked both mentally and physically. It's a sorry, sorry state for a human to be in. And it is FASCINATING to watch. I can't get enough of it. When it's not on TV (which is always), I watch the bonus clips online. I think I need Celebrity Rehab rehab.

But I came up with a new idea for a show. What if it was about famous people trying to get over their habit of watching Celebrity Rehab. It could be called: "Celebrity Celebrity Rehab Rehab."

Hot/cold

2010-01-25T00:36:00.000-08:00

I took this photo on January 14th on Playa Maderas in Nicaragua.

And this one yesterday, January 24th, at Donner Lake, near Lake Tahoe.

Summer and winter in the same months!
The opportunities I've been given are not lost on me. I am extremely grateful.

Nicaraguan Clouds

2010-01-18T13:07:00.001-08:00

Dear blog,

I have been so neglectful of you and I apologize. Things got so crazy with the calendar, and then the holidays, blah blah blah.

So now I am back and I will not neglect you again. At least, not for that long.

First, I will tell you about my trip to Nicaragua. Most notable were the skies. The clouds and the sunsets were like nothing I've seen before. Here are a few favorite pics:

Anything but glamourous

2009-12-15T14:32:00.000-08:00

I find it endlessly funny that the very same day Hot Guys and Baby Animals appeared in Glamour's online magazine.

It also appeared on this club bouncer's flickr photostream.

I swear I had planned to print up more professional looking signs before going to the bar! I just ran out of time. SO unglamorous.

All publicity is good publicity?

2009-12-11T14:03:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Carolyn, my fearless publicist/business partner/best friend, Hot Guys and Baby Animals has been making the rounds in the blogosphere.

Some of the publicity is great.

Some of it is not so great.

Favorite quotes so far (and I did not make these up):

“Hot Guys and Baby Animals, the calendar. Because not all porn has to be X-rated.”

and

“If you're a dude and you want to get tons of pussy, forget acting like dick or spending your money on stupid clothes, get a baby animal."

The promo is out!

2009-12-10T10:24:00.000-08:00

On my trip to do the shoot in LA a few weeks back, I brought both my dad - the photographer, and my friend, Jenn - the documentary filmmaker. I figured that this Hot Guys and Baby Animals shoot would be something I'd want to share with the world. And it was.

Jenn has put together the following trailer for the calendar. It's amazing. If this doesn't make people want to buy one, I don't know what will!

Hot Guys and Baby Animals 2010 Calendar

2009-12-09T11:23:00.001-08:00

It has been three weeks since I last posted, which may be a new record for me. But I have a good excuse. For the last three weeks I have been up to my ears in a huge project, but unlike most of my other work, this project is all my own. And it’s been super fun. I mean, how could it not be fun, when it involves hanging out with my dad, my best friend, hot guys, and baby animals. I just completed the first official Hot Guys and Baby Animals calendar. Which you can buy at this website!

Flora in the City

2009-11-17T17:27:00.000-08:00

If you ever want to be reminded how blessed your life is, I suggest a quick jaunt through the Tenderloin of San Francisco. The people there are poster children for down-and-out. Splayed out on street corners, yelling at each other or simply at shadows, buying/selling/smoking crack, or all three. It's a great reality check. As I recently decided that if I'm to truly love San Francisco, I have to love all of San Francisco. This is the only San Francisco that some unlucky folks ever see.

One of those unlucky folks is Flora, the dog I volunteer walk every Tuesday.

The Tenderloin is the only home she knows. And it knows her. As I walk by, completely conspicuous with my designer yoga pants and my cell phone in hand, the crackheads smile and say hello to Flora. There's something about a beautiful dog that seems to unite everyone.

I'm starting a photo essay I call "Flora in the City." Here are a few highlights:

Heating up

2009-11-10T10:52:00.000-08:00

It's the second installment of YouNork's feautre: "Parts of the house that Audrey thinks look like a penis."

This week: the knob on my heater.

Okay, so to be fair, it doesn't just look like a penis. It is a penis. A plastic penis whistle to be exact.

Why is there a plastic penis whistle in my heater, you ask? Because the original knob was gone when I moved in, and I spent all last winter turning my heat on with pliers. Until a few months ago, my friend, David, was over and noticed the plastic penis whistle from a recent bachelorette party sitting on my dresser. I told him about what a pain it was to turn on my heater with pliers, and he put two and two together, as they say.

And what can I say, it works perfectly. A little weird to explain to guests, but if it keeps me warm in my old, uninsulated house, it's worth it.

Here's to a toasty winter.

College essay tutoring

2009-11-08T18:45:00.000-08:00

Today I had the opportunity through 826 Valencia to help local high school seniors edit their college application essays. The most important thing, the teachers informed us, is that we kept the essay in the student’s voice. We were not there to completely rewrite the essay for them.

As my job is to rewrite other people’s writing, I found this to be incredibly challenging. Especially when the student I as paired with sat down and presented the most poorly written, unfocused, rambling essay I’ve ever read. But I could tell she had some really strong ideas that were just aching to get out on to the page.

“Okay, I’ve finished reading your essay. Tell me in your own words what the point is that you’re trying to make.”

“My essay’s about growing up in a Mexican family and the opportunity I had last summer to go to Smith college with my afterschool engineering program and how that made me want to go to college.”

“Okay, so what you’re trying to say is, your essay is about your struggle to break free of the male-dominated Latino culture and how this inspired you to pursue an education in engineering, a male-dominated industry.”

Blink. Blink.

“I mean, isn’t that what motivated you to get involved in your female engineering club in the first place? Your struggle to find your voice as a Latina woman?”

“Actually, it was because my sister joined and my mom said I had to.”

“Uh huh. So here, in this third paragraph, you can draw a parallel between your challenges as a woman in an oppressive Mexican family to the hurdles that your mentor overcame to be the president of the water treatment plant! But, like, in your own words.”

“What’s a parallel?”

After three hours we’d written an entirely new, entirely brilliant essay. I think UC Berkeley is totally going to accept me. I mean, um, her. Accept her.

Imagi-knit

2009-11-05T14:02:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite yoga teachers, Rusty, holds a class in the Castro every Tuesday and Thursday morning from 9-10:30. On the rare days I can actually get myself out of bed before 8:30, I go to his ass-kicking class. I always leave that place sweaty and spent, feeling like I’ve had all my limbs ripped off and thrust through the part of my brain where I experience emotion. It’s common for his students to cry in Shevasana. It’s awesome.

It just so happens that my favorite knitting store, Imagiknit, is also located in the Castro. And, as a special treat for putting brain and body through Rusty’s class, I reward myself with the some new knitting supplies – a skein of yarn or some double-pointed needles – ya know, something really exciting.

The problem is that it only takes me about 15 minutes to get toweled off and changed after yoga, so by the time I ride my bike down to Imagiknit, it’s only 10:45. And the place doesn’t open until 11am. Which means that there have been more than a few mornings when the woman arrives to open up her knitting store and finds me eagerly waiting for her to unlock the doors.

Who waits outside a knitting store for it to open?

Audrey, that’s who.

A truly digital age

2009-11-03T14:34:00.001-08:00

I've just been alerted that my mother and father are friends via the "live news feed" on my Facebook wall. Then I was able to express my approval with a thumbs up. Isn't that sweet?

A weekend of self-expression

2009-11-02T16:39:00.000-08:00

Halloween remains one of my favorite holidays. Beyond the candy and the partying, it’s a chance to truly express yourself:

Whether it’s through a creative costume that reflects personal interests (this guys was a line of cocaine):

Or though politically motivated haunted house decorations (gotta love my mom’s Berkeley neighbors):

Or though my interactive Lego costume that let people build whatever they want on my person:

I put together a Flickr album to show how my costume morphed throughout the night. Check it out here.

This is for all the doubters out there

2009-10-30T14:28:00.000-07:00

I was walking down Market street at lunch and thinking about how badly I wanted a Dr. Pepper (my favorite soda of all the sodas). Not but one minute later, I almost ran into a man with a Dr. Pepper cart giving away free samples. Dreams can come true.

Now to happen upon the smart, successful boyfriend cart...

The joys of city living

2009-10-28T18:57:00.000-07:00

Weird garbage appears on my street almost daily. Sometimes it's useful, like the chairs I brought in off the street. My roommates love that. But sometimes, it's just plain scary, like this larger-than-life plastic doll

If you can't get the size perspective on this puppy, that's a milk crate she's sitting in. Her head is twice the size of a regular human head. Just sitting on my street. Welcome to Hayes Valley.

Hats

2009-10-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking. You're wondering, with all this music festival going and Lego building, if I still have time to knit. Well I can assure you that yes, I always have time to knit.

I'm developing quite the collection of hats. Here are my latest works:

I'm wondering if I should start a company selling hats online. Something like "Too-small, oddly-shaped head warmers by Audrey."

Treasure Island

2009-10-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing time a the Treasure Island music festival last weekend.

With some of my favorite bands, like The Flaming Lips.

The Streets.

MGMT

And Beirut.

Not to mention some of the best views ever of my favorite city. Go San Francisco!

Love story

2009-10-19T14:18:00.000-07:00

When I see views like this, I wonder if San Francisco can possibly love me as much as I love it.

Then I see views like this:

And this:

And I know that it does.

Oh, the woes of the San Francisco yuppy

2009-10-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

I’m so hungry. But I can’t get into my kitchen to steam the fresh local organic veggies I bought at the farmers’ market because the cleaning lady is mopping the floor. Sigh. Guess I'll just go to yoga sans snack.

The second R

2009-10-15T23:26:00.000-07:00

As a proponent of sustainability, I always try to reduce, reuse, recycle. So since I couldn't chose to not buy the bridesmaids dress for my friend's wedding in order to reduce (it was a gorgeous dress, Lizzie. I wanted to buy it). I could at least reuse it. By wearing it to the Burning Man Decompression party the next day.

It looked totally weird and out of place. In other words, it was completely appropriate for a party like decompression.

Go red dress! Perhaps I'll wear it every weekend.

Congratulations Lizzie & Drew

2009-10-13T13:02:00.000-07:00

This weekend I got to be part of a truly San Francisco wedding.

I commend Lizzie and Drew for taking advantage of all this gorgeous city has to offer. From the Legion of Honor...

to City Hall...

to the lovely art at the Asian Art Musem.

Congratulations, you two. It was a gorgeous wedding and tons of fun.

Lego land

2009-10-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

I visited my friend, Lindsay, at the Google office when I was in New York. I’d been to that office before, and while I’ve always been extremely envious of the Google cafeteria, this time I found something new in the office to covet.

Legos. They had tubs and tubs of them. I was jealous.

But while I was at my mother’s house on Sunday, I had an idea. I don’t need to work at some fancy start-up gone success to be able to play with Legos. In my many years as a child, I amassed quite a collection. A collection that my mother’s been keeping for her grandchildren. Well, her grandchildren don’t exist yet. So for now, I’m taking ownership of the odd conglomerate of childhood toys. Including plastic army men, Playmobile furniture, the odd die or domino, and many, many, many Lego pieces. Pieces from all different sets… spaceship doors mix with truck tires mix with medieval knights and castles. I love it. It brings back a very happy time in my life when my sister and I would stay up hours past bedtime creating entire Lego worlds across our bedroom rug.

Now with my legos and my knitting, my life has become extremely busy. When will I find time to do yoga? Do you think I can bill this as creative processing time?

Left my heart

2009-10-02T15:04:00.000-07:00

I flew into SFO on Tuesday around noon. Sun rays shone through a patchy cloud covering over the San Francisco bay as we approached the peninsula from the south.

The elderly lady seated next to me looked past me out the window. "Doesn't look so nice out, does it."

"Really?" I replied. "I think it looks absolutely beautiful."

Nothing makes me remember how much I love San Francisco than leaving for a few weeks. It's really good to be home.

Downpour

2009-09-28T15:29:00.000-07:00

I’m trapped at a café on Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn by a sudden downpour. This is one of the things I loved most about New York. So glad I got to enjoy a thunderstorm before I fly home tomorrow. Just trying to figure out how I can walk home without getting drenched.

New Yorkers

2009-09-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, I decided to try yoga in Brooklyn, a whole new phenomenon after my two years of San Francisco yoga. The class was nothing to write home about, but what I did appreciate was the children’s yoga class going on in the next room. As I was checking in, I got to hear a brief smidgen of the kids.

TEACHER: Okay, now we’re going to all act like New Yorkers, everyone pretend to be a New Yorker... Julie, what are you acting like?
JULIE: I’m a snooty lady.
TEACHER: Great, snooty lady, I see that nose in the air. What about you, Amber?
AMBER: I’m late, I’m looking at my watch.

I found it highly amusing that that’s what “New Yorker” meant to these kids, who are themselves New Yorkers.

Of course, if the were asked to act like San Franciscans, they’d probably sit down and meditate or pretend to compost.

The return to warm nights

2009-09-24T13:32:00.001-07:00

Being back in New York is reminding me of when I first moved out here three years ago. Nothing beats the warm nights and the crowds on the streets.

Last night I sat in Washington Square Park just after sundown. The people were many and varied, from hippies with their acoustic guitars, students with their backpack full of books, and semi-tourists, like me. I wrote in my journal and then just sat there and took in the scenery, comfortable in my shorts and tank top.

It felt really good.

"You call that driving? You bloody wanker!"

2009-09-14T02:00:00.000-07:00

I’m not sure where my love of Great Britain came from… The music I listened to as a teenager (The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Blur)? The chapter books my mother read to me as a child (everything from C.S. Lewis to Roald Dahl to Noel Streitfeild? Or my childhood obsession with Mary Poppins? (If I had to hazard a guess I would say the latter). Whatever it was, I just love this country. And though in most ways, it’s just like home, I still can’t get enough of the way they speak here. Yesterday I sat next to the bus driver just to hear him hurl obscenities at passing motorists in his cute little cockney accent. Just like Burt from Mary Poppins, only much more inappropriate.

Returning to the land of pubs

2009-09-10T01:57:00.000-07:00

At this time eleven years ago, I was on my way to Scotland for my junior year abroad. I had been to the UK once before, and was excited to return to the land of “tellie” and “footie” and “a cuppa.” How do the Brits make everything sound so charming?

My year spent at Stirling University was my best year of college. The campus was beautiful and the people I met were amazing. Instantly friendly, welcoming and fun, I made some great friends in a short period of time. I learned so many life-long skills from them, like how to drink beer. And how to drink whiskey. But most of all, how to drink vodka.

I’ve managed to stay in touch with these worldly friends off and on through email and Facebook. A few came to visit me when I lived in LA, but I haven’t seen any of them in almost ten years. I’m now returning to London (where most of them have since moved) to drink a pint, or two or seven, with my old mates. I can’t wait.

Congratulations Eliza & Harry!

2009-09-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

My sister, Eliza, got engaged in April and decided to have her wedding at the end of August. The fastest wedding planning ever. Among the short list of things that had to get done, was designate an officiator. They didn’t want anything religious or traditional in their ceremony, so Eliza and her fiancé, Harry, asked me to marry them. I was honored, flattered, and totally scared shitless. I’d be speaking at an emotional event in front of 100 people. What was I supposed to say? What if I messed up? What if I broke down in tears?

To make it even more challenging, I endured a somewhat painful break up about a month prior to the wedding, so my head was swimming with images from a bad 80’s movie: me at the mic with a beer in hand slurring, “Love. What is love? Love doesn’t last. I’ll tell you what lasts. PAIN! Pain lasts…”

I wrote three drafts for the ceremony. Three! Eliza vetoed the first two. One of them was completely in rhyme:

Many people traveled far to be here today.
Some crossed great oceans, some crossed the bay.
To watch this young couple and their married life start,
Some flew in from Asia. I just took BART.

Note for the future: I totally want MY wedding to be in rhyme.

In the end, I told an anecdote about the day I met Harry, and what that meeting said about both my sister and her chosen one. It was Halloween, and I managed to sneak in my very favorite quote by Anne Lamott about that favorite holiday of mine: “It’s the one day a year when all the pirates and divas, clowns and super heroes can take off their ‘busy adult’ costumes and just be themselves.” Seems like it has nothing to do with marriage, but I made it work.

It was funny and it was touching. After all that worrying about crying in front of everyone, I totally did cry. And it felt great. Harry was crying, Eliza was crying, the whole audience was crying. It was an emotional day, but I powered on through like a champ. And it was awesome. It was one of the more emotional things I’ve ever done. It felt like a huge release, having that ceremony happen, and I’ve been high ever since.

Once the ceremony was over, I got to enjoy the rest of the wedding stress-free, aside from a few much dreaded comments from older family members.

“When is your wedding, Audrey?” And my favorite from my Uncle Jeff, “You’re 32? When we were 32, we had five children already.” Though I can’t tell if it was said with envy or pity.

One thing I do know: it was a beautiful, love-filled wedding and an amazing day. And now that I’ve witnessed my grandma shaking it on the dance floor to “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas, I can die happy.

Grandma dancing to "My Hump" from Audrey on Vimeo.

Heading forward. Get it? HEADing.

2009-08-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

Big news! I’ve moved on to hats.

Here’s Julian modeling my first ever knitted hat. Yes, I’ve moved on to models too.

I know what you’re thinking: Oh God, Audrey’s once clever blog about her life has turned into a boring knitting blog. Well, boring knitting is my life now. So, get used to it.

New roommate

2009-08-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

It started when Molly and I took him home from bookclub. Finding him on sale him at a yard sale, Bethany, the host that month, had thought he’d be an appropriate addition to our discussion of “Dreams from my Father.” As it turns out, the life-size cardboard cut-out of Barack Obama proved to be more frightening than fun.

My roommate Rich came home late at night to find a male figure standing in the darkness of the hallway and nearly wet his pants.

The next afternoon, I pulled back my covers to find Barack’s smiling face on my pillow.

So I took him out of my bed and put him in the shower. Which was a little creepy.

Then Rich put him in the laundry room, where Molly stumbled upon him while washing her clothes.

Text from Molly to Audrey: Obama just scared the crap out of me.

Text from Audrey to Molly: You and middle America.

Next I put him in Rich’s closet, so he could prepare for Burning Man.

After eating take out pizza and karaoking with him last night, he’s just become a regular part of the family.

Which just goes to show you, people become a lot less scary and intimidating once you get to know them.

Obsessed

2009-08-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

"I have a new knitting obsession."

"Is it really an obsession?"

"Well, every night I'm at a party or out with friends, I can't help but think: 'I wish I were home knitting right now.'"

"That's okay, I think knitting is cool. You just have to make sure you don't isolate yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I don't want you to look around in a year and instead of friends, you have ten scarfs."

"Are you kidding? In a year I could make like 50 scarfs!"

"I think you just made my point."

To Bence's point, my latest creation:

Betty and Flora

2009-08-10T16:17:00.001-07:00

It’s been pointed out that my life is currently that of a rich housewife, only I’m not married and I’m not rich. Aside from those two minor factors, I am living a life of leisure – volunteering, doing yoga and plotting up ways to make lots of money.

My latest volunteer endeavors are through an organization called PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support) a San Francisco non-profit that cares for companion animals for low-income persons with HIV/AIDS and other disabling illnesses. It’s an impressive organization, helping both pets and their owners at the same time.

My job is to walk a dog once a week for a woman who has AIDS and dementia. This woman, whom we’ll call Betty, zooms up and down the halls of her government-funded housing in her government-provided wheelchair. It makes me happy that government programs are in fact working for some folks. She gets regular check ups, personal care and care for her dog. I get the impression that I am one of a whole host of characters that Betty sees day-to-day (always to her surprise, as she never seems to remember that I’m coming, or exactly who I am or what I’m doing there) to help her survive.

Betty and her chow mix, Flora, are best friends. “A pack of two,” Betty mumbles through her barely comprehensible English. Flora follows Betty’s wheelchair from the housing project to the corner donut shop and back every single day. The first time I met them, I joined them on their regular two-block walk. Betty explained to me that she used to be addicted to crack and has been sober for six years. She’s been HIV positive for 20.

Since Hayes Valley is located frighteningly close to the Tenderloin, I’d passed by Betty’s hang out spot many times in the past. I’d seen the homeless people begging for change on the street, men and women in dirty clothes pushing shopping carts, individuals covered in nasty smells and sores on their faces yelling angrily at the wind. However, I’d never been introduced to them before. These are Betty’s friends, her people, and she called out to them as we walked along “This is Audrey, she’s going to walk Flora for me.”

They know Betty, they know Flora, and now they know me. As I drag Flora on her 30-minute weekly walk through the urine-soaked streets of the Tenderloin, past rundown hotels and liquor stores, the people I pass wave cordially to me and Flora, “Hi Flora, looking beautiful as ever today.”

This is Flora running through plants for what could possibly be her first time.

White Water

2009-07-28T16:07:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I faced my fears and went river rafting down the American River. It was surprisingly less scary than I thought it would be. Of course, it was only class I, II & III. No class V's for this girl.

We had an awesome all-girl boat for Lizzie's bachelorette party. Fun times.

Knit happens

2009-07-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

I’ve been feeling a little stagnant with this whole no job thing and all, so I decided to take on a new activity: knitting.

Why knitting? No reason. I think my grandma taught me how to knit when I was a kid, so it was easy to draw on that old, hidden knowledge and get right back into it (with the help of my roommate, Molly, my sister, Katie, and my cousin/sister, Renna). I like it because (a) it’s calming and (b) I can do it while doing other things, like watching TV or talking to people, and (c) I feel like I’m being productive.

So now I have a new hobby. Well, it’s a hobby like heroine is a hobby. I can’t stop knitting! I learned exactly one week ago and already I’ve completed two items: an oddly-shaped scarf, and a wine-cozy. At this point, I’ve run out of yarn, so it’s back to the knitting store, where I’m sure I’ll pick up all kinds of knitting paraphernalia to help me sink deeper and deeper into my new habit.

Behold – my first creations!

Audrey and the Great Glass Elevators

2009-07-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, as you know, I went houseboating on Lake Shasta. It was a three story boat, with a hot tub and a waterslide. Three stories (plus the slide) meant you could jump off from any number of places. I preferred the slide, which involved about a 6-foot drop. But braver members of our group were back flipping off the third-story. 30-foot drop? 40? I have no concept of distance. Anyway, it was high.

I never did get up the full courage to jump off the top, but I did jump off the second story (20-feet or so?) The jumping part was fun, but as I landed, I remembered that I don’t like jumping from high distances. Why? Because it hurts! The boys can play it all cool like smacking the water didn’t burn their skin and bruise their arms and pop their ear drums, but I know that it did.

My ears were particularly sore. And, for at least a week afterward, my left ear felt like it was full of water. I tried everything: shaking my head, pounding it against the ground, Q-tips, handstands, everything at once.

Finally, my roommate Rich suggested that I needed a quick change in pressure, like an elevator ride. What a perfect excuse to visit my favorite place in the city: the glass elevators at the Westin St. Francis. I rode my bike over to Union Square, dodged the elevator security guards by heading up to the second floor (shhh, that’s my little secret), and rode that elevator up and down to my little heart’s content.

I’ve been enjoying that view since I was a kid. I don’t remember the first time I discovered the glass elevators there, but I do recall riding them up and down with Carolyn our freshman year of highschool on a trip to the City. And I remember my friends “kidnapping” me for my 18th birthday, blindfolding me and taking me to the glass elevators. I’ve visited them many times since.

And now I have a new reason to love them: they cured my ears.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

2009-07-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

Because of today's date.

Get it? It's 7/8/9 today.

Okay, I'm a nerd.

Fun with science

2009-07-07T16:31:00.000-07:00

For the past three weeks, I’ve been volunteering at 826 Valencia. I’ve volunteered there many times as a tutor for afterschool homework help, but this summer they’re doing a special program for English Language Learners (ELL).

ELLs are 2nd through 4th-graders who moved to the US as children, so they can speak English fluently, but have a hard time reading and writing it. It’s basically like an educational summer camp where the kids get to do things like write stories, play games and learn stuff. And I get to help. It’s been fun.

Today, the kids got to learn some science. Basically, we played with a big tub of dry ice, soap and water. The kids were so worked up about the bubbles, they were dancing all over the playground.

In addition to dry ice bubbles and dancing kids, Mission Playground on Valencia is also filled with homeless people. The few bums that we’re comatose or busy collecting garbage actually seemed interested in the experiment. One particularly alcohol-soaked bum was so excited by the dry ice, he joined our circle.

“I know what dry ice is made out of! I know!” He was raising his hand so frantically that the teacher finally called on him.

“Carbon Dioxide!” he announced proudly.

At least he got it right.

Happy America Day

2009-07-06T23:17:00.000-07:00

I’ve always enjoyed the 4th of July as a holiday, another excuse to drink beer and barbecue. But I’ve always been a little wary of the whole patriotism thing, the blind support of an entire country and it’s government. I’ve always found ways around it, such as the Red Neck, White Trash, Blue Collar party from a few years back.

But this year, being proud of my country and my government for the first time in a while, I actually decided to go full out. I joined the rest of the “real” Americans and went houseboating.

That means all the long weekend I motored around Lake Shasta eating hotdogs and drinking Budweiser NOT ironically. It was actually kinda fun.

Though, I had to ignore all my nagging environmentally conscience thoughts and vegetarian tendencies.

Tribute

2009-06-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

There was a time in my life when I only listened to two records (yes, they were on vinyl): Madonna’s True Blue and Michael Jackson’s Thriller. My friends and I choreographed dances to every song on every album. When we weren’t dancing, we’d loving gaze at Michael’s photo on the inside cover, though I think back then I was more excited by the baby tiger.

Every Michael Jackson song from that era defines an entire section of my life. Every misunderstood lyric was a joke I shared with my sister. Every chorus, a dance move I shared with a friend. My current cell phone ringtone is Billy Jean. As if to remind me every time I get a call that the world lost someone truly special today.

I’ve always appreciated MJ’s contributions to the world. And have still have love for him, even though he was a total nutbar. This line from the news sums it up best: : “Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II.”

Good bye Michael Jackson. We’ll miss you! Thanks to you, I'll always know how funky strong my fight is.

Upsidedown mission: accomplished.

2009-06-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

I did it! After two weeks of trying to kick-up to handstand by myself... I just did it like two minutes ago. Just shows what a little practice can do. Now to get back to guitar...

Commencement

2009-06-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

You know what today is? It’s exactly ten years since I graduated from college. TEN YEARS.

I was so full of hope, back then. The future was wide open and dripping with opportunity. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and looked forward to all my future jobs, friends, partners and creations.

And look at me now.

Meh, not that much has changed.

Monkey Picked Iron Goddess of Mercy

2009-06-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my roommates and I went to Samovar, the tea place around the corner from my house. The food and atmosphere is amazing. And their tea, at roughly $7-$9 a pop, is also quite impressive. Though not quite as amazing as the menu would have you believe.

Their Hika Sencha has an “unbounded creamy, buttery body, and warm-apricot-marmalade-on-toasted-english-muffin taste.”

So I ordered a cup. Turns out it just tastes like tea.

Their famed oolong, Monkey Picked Iron Goddess of Mercy claims to “Penetrate your issues and dissolve them.”

I had a sip of that too. My issues remain present.

The menu. It lies.

New punctuation

2009-06-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

I’ve come up with a new punctuation mark. It’s used to show when a sentence or phrase is a really bad idea. It is called: the disasterisk.

In appearance, it is similar to a regular asterisk that you would use for any old footnote. But, in actuality, it connotes approaching calamity. Something that will potentially lead to grave danger.

Allow me to provide some examples.

That tiger looks really sweet, I bet she good use a hug.*

I’ll just stop by my ex-boyfriend’s house for a sec.**

I’m sure this shot of Jager won’t have too much effect on me.***

*danger danger danger

**abort abort abort

***red alert! Abandon ship

Turning my world upsidedown: day 1

2009-06-02T18:16:00.000-07:00

Technically, I've been trying to do a handstand my whole life. But I actually started trying regularly about a year and a half ago when I began regular yoga classes.

I can do it fine with a partner, just not against the wall and definitely not in the middle of the room.

Today I tried three times against the wall, to no avail. I asked the teacher how to get over this handstand mental block and you know what she said? She said, "Write about it."

Write about it? That's so simple. That's what I do best.

So here is my new commitment: I am going to practice handstands against the wall EVERY SINGLE DAY from now on. Until I can do it. And then I'll keep practicing.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Saturday at Maker Faire

2009-06-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning, I was up bright and early (not an easy feat after the barn dance fundraiser I attended Friday night) to bike ride down to the Maker Faire. This plan was not so much due to me being adventurous or active; more just because I’m cheap (bicyclists save $10 off the entry fee). So after two hours of biking, I arrived at an expo center in San Mateo full of people who make things, and the things they made.

It was amazing. All these crafts, kinetic energy machines and robots made simply just because. They’re uses were artistic or scientific at best. It made me feel silly just for sitting around my house and writing when I could be:

Creating single-person muffin cars.

Or jeeps covered in Legos that you can add your own addition to.

Or remote-controlled warring robots.

Or, my personal favorite, a life-sized Mousetrap game.

Remember this game from the late 80’s? It was a big part of my childhood, so I especially enjoyed it being played life-sized in front of my eyes – they pulled it off with only a couple hitches:

See more pics here, including the art I made.

Ray's Grandma's Cabin

2009-05-29T15:22:00.000-07:00

My friend, Ray, has a cabin that has been in his family for 60 years. His grandmother, who has since passed away, bought this cabin for the family and has it written into her trust that it can never be sold or given away. I don’t blame her; this magical little place could not be in a better location, right on Caples Lake.

Despite the lack of electricity and running water, it’s the coziest little place.

Surrounded by gorgeous hiking, canoeing and swimming, it’s an ideal weekend getaway. I’m stoked I know Ray so I get to go up there!

P.S.
This time I did NOT capsize the canoe!

18 to life

2009-05-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

I’ve lived in the Bay Area most of my life, and yet up until last week, I had not been to see our biggest tourist attraction: Alcatraz.

So last week, I joined my roommate and his two out-of-town guests to go check out “the rock.” It was actually a pretty interesting walk through history. Including getting to see what the prisoners ate the day Alcatraz closed its doors (a heartier meal than I eat for breakfast most days).

And admiring the remarkable view of the city.

My conclusion was that Alzatraz was actually a pretty cool place to live. That’s why I’ve decided to live a life of crime in hopes of ending up somewhere equally cool. It’s not like I have a job anyhow, why not turn to petty theft and perhaps dabble in drug sales. Would anyone like to buy some crack?

Just desserts

2009-05-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

I've been on such a junk food frenzy ever since the cleanse, that I've started referring to my evening sweets as "Dinner Dessert." This is, of course, to differentiate it from the cookies I eat after lunch (lunch dessert) and my morning pastry (breakfast dessert).

As I like to say, "Life is uncertain, eat dessert ALL THE TIME."

Good thing I work out.

Bay to Broken

2009-05-18T20:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was San Francisco's biggest holiday: Bay to Breakers.

Bay to Breakers brings out the best/worst of the city. The city's most creative people, and its drunkest. Or in our case, both.

My friends and I had a New Year's Eve party, with a ball that drops and everything, all throughout the streets of the city.

In addition to the wildness, it's one of few days out of the year when new years revelers get to hang out with bananas in the middle of the day.

Bike where?

2009-05-14T18:29:00.001-07:00

Today is Bike to Work Day. It was a day I loved, when I have a job.

Now I think the very notion is insensitive to the growing minority of the population that has no job to bike to.

I am going to create a new holiday. A holiday for people like me: Bike to the Bar for some Midafternoon Beers day.

Tippy Canoe

2009-05-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

I have a big, ugly sore on my nose. It’s not a good place to have a mark, but at least it’s got a good story behind it… I got in a canoeing accident this weekend. Not so much an accident as a capsizing. Not sure if it was our fault, or the fault of the low-hanging branches, but once that little canoe starts filling with water, all you can do is hang on to all your stuff and hope it doesn’t float away down river.

It turns out that a canoe full of water is extremely heavy and almost impossible to control, even in the water. So, navigating the water-logged canoe to the size of the river while holding on to all your possessions is near impossible. After being dragged along the rocks on the bottom of the river for what seemed like hours (but was probably more like 8 minutes). We were finally able to trap the canoe in some reeds and dump out the water so we could get back in. The only negative results of the experience were a broken camera (not mine, thank goodness) and a lost flip-flop (also not mine). Also a number of bruises and scrapes, including the one on my nose.

Still, it was a fun time and totally worth it.

Here we are before capsizing.

Here we are after. As you can see, we made it out just fine.

More fun times at the CAS

2009-05-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

It's great to be back in the City and to return to my favorite Thursday night scene - the California Academy of Sciences.

Here are some hot club-goers I met last night:

A cute little birdy.

This butterfly wouldn't stop staring at us with its "eye."

And the underside of a frog. Checkout its cute little pink toes.

Good thing I love Middle Eastern food.

2009-05-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

As I was waiting for my falafel to go today at the local Mediterranean restaurant, I noticed that the guy behind the counter had his realtor business cards on display.

Audrey: You’re a realtor too?

Guy: Yes, I have my realtor’s license. I do the finances at this restaurant and I am also head chef.

Audrey: Wow, three jobs, huh?

Guy: Must have many jobs to survive in this economy.

Audrey: I don’t have any job.

Guy: And yet you are smiling.

Audrey: The government pays me to be myself.

Guy: (after pausing to look me up and down) You could make living working as model.

I see free falafels in my future.

Reality TV - 1, Audrey – 0

2009-05-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

I’ve been in Southern California since Thursday. The land where people make TV. But they don’t just make TV, they live, talk, breathe and eat TV. I spent the weekend in a house with 10 girls that loved to talk about television. Watching television, producing television, gossiping about the people on television. And, I’m not gonna lie, I was bored to tears. Mostly because I can’t keep up. The only TV I watch at home is the Daily Show. And Jon Stewart didn’t come up in conversation once. The shows that were discussed were other such compelling programs such as American Idol, Gossip Girl, the Hills, and other shows that I’ve never seen. And, to be honest, I thought were pretty much a waste of time.

Everything from “Daisy of Love” on VH1 to “Conjoined Twins” on TLC. And I’ll tell you, it was awesome. As long I’m with other people and can make fun of the people on the screen, watching TV can actually be really fun.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to make it a habit at home. I still have way more productive ways to pass the time, like g-chatting, Twittering, and updating my status on Facebook.

Kermito El Rana

2009-04-29T15:38:00.000-07:00

I’m back in from Mexico and not super thrilled about it. Luckily, I have no job to take away from the time I'm spending reminiscing about all the good times I had with Kermie in Sayulita.

Meditating at Haramara.

Enjoying the view from our casa in town.

Playing on the beach.

Going out on the fishing boat.

Marveling at our catch.

And, of course, sunbathing.

And no, neither Kermit nor I came home with the Swine Flu. Thanks for asking, Grandma, Dad, Mom and every person I’ve ever met.

Giddy-up

2009-04-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

Horseback riding. On the beach. At sunset. With beer.

Life doesn't get much better.

Lazy shoppers

2009-04-23T15:32:00.001-07:00

A fun thing about Mexico is that you don't have to get out of your seat to shop; the products come to you. A muffin man comes to our door every morning to sell us breakfast. Vendors come up to you on the beach selling everything from dresses to plates to jewelery to flan. Flan! On the beach!

Here's a perfect example of what I'm talking about - this truck drove by me yesterday while I was working at the Internet cafe.

Mission: accomplished.

2009-04-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

After a lot of time, work, energy and devotion. I think I may have found it: the Best Fish Taco in Sayulita.

I still have a few more days left, and a few more places to try, however. So I'll keep you posted.

Casa Verde

2009-04-20T11:46:00.000-07:00

My name is Audrey. I’m 32 years old. And I am a groupie.

The band is called Casa Verde. And they’re the most amazing band I’ve ever seen. Ever.

I’ve been in Mexico, what? About two weeks? (I’ve lost track of time). And I’ve seen Casa Verde play no less than five times (at three different bars). You know it’s bad when I walk into the club and the band waves to me.

I know every word to every song. I sing along even though I have no idea what they mean. I am their friend on Myspace. I bought their CD and have uploaded every song into my iTunes. I dance in the front row and swoon over the band members, though I’m having a hard time deciding whose babies I want to have more:

The sweaty lead singer,

Or the mustachioed trumpet player.

I have tried to talk to them a few times, but none of them speaks a lick of English and my Spanish is less than perfect. So far we’ve been able to discuss our love of music and hats. The Saturday night’s conversation went like this:

Audrey: (in Spanish) Me gusta la musica.

Lead singer: (in English) I like hats.

I think it’s love.

They leave today to continue their tour around Mexico. I’m heartbroken. Perhaps I will follow their tour van.

Here is a clip of them playing. The sound is poor in this video, so it doesn't quite do them justice, (but you can see how sexy the trumpet player is). The song is about how they want love (from me). I can't understand the other lyrics, but I think they're about the sexy American girl that shows up at all their concerts. Maybe you can clarify this, Eliza?

Images of home

2009-04-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

There are a few things around Sayulita that remind me of home (aside from all the San Franciscans, that is)

Tacos de Pescados

2009-04-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

Up until now, I thought my purpose in Sayulita was to do nothing but relax and pass the time. However, yesterday, I had a realization that I do have a clear and very serious reason to be here. My job here in Sayulita, as I’m hereby declaring, is to find the very best fish taco in town. (Or as I've been asking the locals in my mangled Spanish: "The most better fish taco of everyone in all the town.")

This may seem like an easy task in a village the size of my San Francisco flat. However, every restaurant in Sayulita offers fish tacos. And every building in Sayulita happens to be a restaurant. Even if it’s a private home, they have a few tables outside and a heavy-set grandmotherly lady frying up some tacos de pescados. Then there are the street carts, which pop up anywhere from la plaza to la playa selling fish and shrimp tacos.

This is a job I will take very seriously for my next week here. Be it marlin or mahi mahi, deep fried or grilled, corn or flour tortilla-ed, I will rest at nothing until I’ve found the Best Fish Taco in Sayulita.

It’s good to have goals.

Sayulita life

2009-04-16T13:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some images from life in Sayulita. I'll post more over the next week.

Care for some candy while you sunbathe?

Coconut water

2009-04-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

I got a little homesick after Spanish class yesterday. I was tired and cranky from too much sun. My Spanish teacher recommended drinking coconut water to combat heat exhaustion. So, on my way home, I bought a coconut from a fruit stand on the beach. The seniorita hacked off both ends of the fruit with a machete and gave me a straw. I sipped the juice from the coconut all the way back to my hotel as I walked along the sand, and realized that I have the rest of my life to be at home.

Right now I happen to be in paradise.

Haramara

2009-04-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

As I promised yesterday, here are some images from chapter one: Haramara.

This was my walk to yoga class every morning.

I'd never done somewhere so beautiful. I mean, Yoga Tree is nice and all, but this palapa had a 360-degree view.

How can I count the ways in which I loved my outdoor shower. Let's just say that I showered every day while at Haramara, which, as you are aware if you know me, is a really big deal.

The grounds had beautiful gardens to get lost in.

One of the six gorgeous sunsets I enjoyed from the dining hall.

We lucked out with a full moon in the middle of our six-day stay. The moon was so bright, we didn't even need flashlights (Haramara is solar powered and has no electricity at night).

I still have a long way to go, but I definitely saw an improvement in my yoga practice.

And, last but not least, my favorite part: my bedroom.

Chapter Two

2009-04-14T12:52:00.000-07:00

My three-week trip to Mexico has three chapters. They all take place in the same town, but each chapter has its own focus. This is a stark contrast from my usual way of traveling, where I see as much of a country as possible in a short period of time. But that can be a little stressful. And I needed a relaxing vacation (from my relaxing vacation of a life back home as a laid-off copywriter.) Still, it’s been nice to just slow down and get to know one place (and, more importantly, myself).

Last week, I enjoyed a heavenly yoga/meditation retreat at the amazing Haramara retreat center. From the open-air, candle-lit rooms, to the 360-view yoga palapas to the amazing food – that place was built for relaxation. Although the best part of my retreat was the people. And they were all imported from San Francisco.

Right now, I’m on chapter two. This one is a mix of Spanish lessons, surfing lessons, and yoga classes while at the same time, attempting to get my freelance work done. The latter is slipping a little. But, as you saw from yesterday’s post, my Spanish is improving.

Chapter three, starting Saturday, will unravel all the relaxation and centering I’ve accomplished in the first two chapters. From the wheat-free, meat-free, sugar-free, dairy-free and sometime cooking-free delicious food at Haramara (for two days we ate raw – I was amazed at how good it was). And this budgety week of eating nothing but smoothies and fish tacos. I expect next week to be a feast of cheesy, chicken enchiladas, margaritas and beer, to drown out all that health, when six friends arrive from San Francisco and we spend a week partying in a rental beach house. I think it’ll be a great way to end the trip.

Tomorrow I’ll start posting some pictures.

When in Mexico...

2009-04-13T22:55:00.000-07:00

Today was my first Spanish lesson in Mexico. Also my first Spanish lesson in 20 years. Unlike my sister, who speaks every language in the world fluently, I’ve never been that good at them. I took Spanish in elementary school and then French in high school and college. And in the ten years since I’ve stopped taking any language, they’ve gotten jumbled up in my head until I can’t speak anything (sometimes I struggle with English). But I’m convinced that all that knowledge is there – I just need to access it.

Today I was able to learn a few key phrases that I’ve been practicing around town. Complexly constructed sentences such as “Me puede traer una mas taco de pescado por favor?” (can you bring me another fish taco please.” And “Me gustaria la cuenta.” (I would like the check).

The thing is that I’m so proud of my new language skills, that I expect a big reaction when I bust out with my new learnings – applause, or at least a solid pat on the back. Instead, I have been getting another fish taco. Or sometimes the check. It’s a little disappointing.

Cleansing

2009-04-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve been on a cleanse for almost two weeks now. No, not the horrific Master Cleanse. This one is the Oprah diet, (God, when I write it out like that it sounds so shallow). But really, it’s just about being more aware of what you eat. The diet is vegan (no meat, dairy or eggs) and nothing fun (alcohol, sugar, or caffeine) and the trickiest part, no wheat/gluten, which is surprisingly in everything – from soy sauce to many soups.

What does that leave to eat? Plenty of stuff. I’ve been eating stirfries and quinoa, lentils and kale, smoothies and peanutbutter. These are all the all the things I ate before anyhow, only now I’m more aware of them because I’m not drunk all the time – kidding, kidding. Mom, I don’t drink THAT much. In fact I haven’t had a single drink in two whole weeks. Two whole weeks! And no sugar either.

I’m going to reward myself with a margarita… in Mexico.

No really, I leave tomorrow for a yoga retreat in Mexico. Will not be blogging for at least a week (like that’s anything new). Will blog in a week and tell you how it went.

Dancing in the moonlight

2009-03-27T00:50:00.000-07:00

Reason #29 why I love being unemployed...

I get to go to my grandma's dance class at the Berkeley Senior Center.

I mean really, I should be doing this every week.

Finally

2009-03-19T09:08:00.001-07:00

Reason #28 why I love being unemployed...

Unemployment Insurance.

It's not just that I get a fairly decent amount of money each week, it's that I get it for doing nothing. It's like the government finally realized that I'm so awesome, I should get paid to simply exist. Took them long enough.

Comfy

2009-03-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

Reason number #27 why I love being unemployed....

I can hang out all day in my yoga pants.

Jonesin' for Jones

2009-03-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

I have two pieces of very exciting news.

Firstly, Van Jones was appointed Special Advisor for Green Jobs, Enterprise and Innovation for the Obama administration. For those of you that don’t know of Van Jones, he is a social justice and environmental activist that founded Green For All, a nonprofit dedicated to solving our two biggest problems at once: unemployment & climate change. He’s been lecturing, teaching, and organizing a movement to lift people out of poverty by creating green jobs for inner-city low-income folks. He also wrote a book on the subject “Green Collar Economy” which, I’m ashamed to say, I’ve never actually read. He is also really, really hot. And really, really married. Frownie face

The other piece of exciting news is that I finally put a posting up on my friend, Nick’s, blog: Triple Pundit. It was this good news about Van Jones that inspired me to finally write something. Check out my posting here. It was hard for me to get away from the fact that I have a massive crush on Van Jones. Basically, Nick is lucky I didn’t write the whole post about how hot an Obama-Jones sandwich would be. Yum.

Gettin' Snuggie

2009-03-03T13:08:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, my mother asked for a Snuggie: the blanket with sleeves. My mother is always cold and this was another attempt to stay warm in our freezing Berkeley house. You know Berkeley and it's cold, cold winters. It gets down as low as 50 on some January days.

So, after much online ordering (in which they make you buy two with a FREE READING LIGHT). And a two month back order. I finally got the Snuggie sometime in February (after finding out that they sell them at my local Wallgreens. Ah well). So Mom opens it and says dissapointedly, "It has no back."

It's a blanket with sleeves, Mom. Blankets don't have backs. What you're looking for is a bathrobe.

I thought this was our own family joke until I saw this recent article in the NY Times "Snuggie on the street: Watch your back," in which the author decides to wear her Snuggie out around Manhattan (with hilarious results).
"My biggest fear was that I would be treated as some kind of doomsday zealot when I donned my Snuggie in Times Square. I have longish hair and a beard, and the Snuggie, with its generous draping sleeves, can appear from the front like a clerical gown. It seemed to shout: “Repent!”

As I stood near the TKTS booth writing this thought in my notebook, I realized that: “Hey, I’m writing in my notebook while standing up wearing a blanket. These sleeves are handy.”"

Knobs

2009-02-27T19:32:00.000-08:00

I’m starting a new feature in this blog.

It’s entitled: "Parts of the house that Audrey thinks look like a penis."

Observe the knob on our bathroom door:

Stay tuned for more.

Thirty-two-riffic!

2009-02-25T15:20:00.000-08:00

Two-riffic? Is that working for you guys? I couldn't come up with something as clever as "thirty-one-derful."

It's been a good birthday. It's hard to be worried about jobs, and money, and taxes when it's so nice outside. And there are so many fun things to do all day. Like yoga, and bike riding, and drinking for free at the Anchor Brewing Company. You just need to survive the boring tour, then it's all the free beer you want! A great way to start out my 33rd year on earth!

Busy Busy

2009-02-23T14:25:00.001-08:00

I don't know how I ever had time to work before. I feel like I have a million things to do every day. The list of feats to accomplish while unemployed keeps growing, and yet I don't even have time to start them.

I guess I'll just never be able to work again.

Seasons

2009-02-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

In January, I was here:

And in February, I was here:

And people say they don't like the West Coast because it has no seasons. In fact, it has all the seasons at once, you just have to drive to them.