Avast, ye you soil-licking varmints!

Long before Johnny Depp donned his pirate beard for Disney, the people of America - including Dave Barry, Dave Eggers and myself - were celebrating National Talk Like a Pirate Day every September 19th.

This is the first year in five that I haven't brought my pirate flag to work and made all my coworkers start there sentences with "Arrrgggh!" (Although last year I was directing a radio commercial for a Chinese food restaurant chain "Ye be wantin' a fortune cookie with that, ya scrum-sucking scally-wag?")

Though they have no pirate store, and I left my pirate hat at Lizzie's house, this year I'm determined to bring my enthusiasm for Talk Like a Pirate Day to New York. Starting with You Nork.

There are a number of videos on youtube from the creators of Talk Like a Pirate Day, Old Chum Bucket and Cap’n Slappy. They’re mostly not funny, but the kid in this rap is kinda cute. Don’t play with guns.