Pornacopia

Monday night I was reunited with my bizarre running group. Though the members are mostly insane, there are enough cool folks there to make it worth my time and it was great seeing all my old friends. Not to mention that Monday was the most beautiful and clear night San Francisco has seen and the views from every hill we ran over were breathtaking.

How is this running group different from other running groups? Well, aside from the fact that we drink during the run and sing dirty songs after the run, there are other quirks, like the big suitcase full of porn at the run’s finish. This is not a regular occurrence, but a one-time addition from one of the group’s weirdest members. Apparently this pile of old VHS tapes belonged to his late father (uh, creepy) and were mostly in plain white covers with a black and white printed labels showing through the window.

I’m not particularly interested in watching porn from the 80’s, nor do I own a VCR. Still, I rifled through the lot with the specific intention to hide a couple videos in my roommate’s room in the hopes that a random girl will find them if he ever brings one home. I ended up with two videos that are now carefully tucked among the books on my roommate’s bookshelf.

I cannot wait until someone happens upon them. I can already picture the poor drunk girl… waiting until her one night stand heads to the bathroom before snooping through his shelf. She knows not what she has gotten herself into when she finds two videos with plain white covers. "What are these?" she demands of my roommate as he returns to his room. And she holds up with disgust the two tapes labeled “Cooze Cruise” and “Squirts till it Hurts 2.” Hehehe.