Uncool and undead

Along with every other girl aged 15 and up, I’ve often used Halloween as an excuse to dress extra provocatively. Once I got boobs, gone were the days of being a shampoo bottle or a refrigerator. Instead, these costumes were replaced with Slutty Devils and Sexy Tigers. I was not just a pirate, I was “Captain Hooker.” I was not an angel, I was a “Fallen Angel.” I was not just a mime, but a “Mime Whore.” (okay, I made that last one up).

So, after 15 years of sexing it up for Halloween. I decided to do things a little differently. Combining two of the ugliest things possible, Stephanie came up with the idea of Zombie Nerds. With a tropical shirt and culottes from Thift Town and some very scary make up, we actually left the house looking like this:



This is why Stephanie and I are no longer friends.

I’ve never got so much negative attention from boys. I would forget what I looked like and start chatting a guy up at the bar, and then be shocked when he ran screaming until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.



Or looked down at my feet.



Shockingly, my roommate Brian, the Raver Geisha managed not to pick up either.



Note to self: next time, wait to dress up ugly for Halloween until you already have a boyfriend.