Cold hard flash

It has come to my attention that some of my family is not terribly thrilled about me posting stories about them online, which is completely understandable. Especially if the facts aren’t 100% accurate (they are to the best of my knowledge, with perhaps a bit of added sizzle). Anyway, I apologize if anyone was upset by the stories. I’ve removed all names (except my own) and please remember that any jesting is only meant in love.

The new story up at Auds and Ends involves no one but me and “the twins.” (And my mom and my sister briefly). I think my family will still dislike this story, as it’s rather politically incorrect and lacking in any sort of feminism. But, so be it. I wrote it a few years back, and here it is:

When I was about twelve, an amazing thing happened. I went from being the tall, boring, shy girl in my sixth-grade class to being the tall, boring, shy girl in my sixth-grade class with boobs. Two little mounds of flesh, no bigger than two ping-pong balls suddenly made all the difference in the world. Boys wanted to hang out with me, girls wanted to be me. And I hated it. At night before bed, when every other 12-year-old girl was praying for the breast-god to bestow such blessings on her, I was praying for mine to shrink. I slept on my stomach every night in hopes they’d get squashed and crawl back into the place from whence they had come. Read More.