Snooze you lose

I’m not a morning person. Anyone who knows me knows this. I even once overheard an old boss say, “Yeah, Audrey’s great. But completely useless until about 10:30am.”

I would be offended if it wasn’t so completely true.

Unfortunately for me, the business world starts earlier than 10:30. I have to be at my desk between 9 and 9:30. Or at least, no later than 10. Due to the fact that I don’t shower in the morning, nor wear any makeup, nor particularly care what I wear as long as it’s not stained or smelly, I can usually make it on time. And with the existence of things like lattes and iced coffees, I can usually show in a reasonably chipper mood. Unless, that is, I get an attack of the snoozes.

Because it’s hard for me to get up in the morning, I always set two (sometimes three) alarms. And I usually hit snooze on each one no less than 5-7 times, finally rolling out of bed on the last snooze around 8:15am. However, there is the occasional morning in which my half-awake self decides that it would make more sense to turn the alarm off rather than hit snooze. This becomes a problem when I then sleep until my body wakes up on it’s own natural rhythm around 10:30am. And it’s an even bigger problem when it happens on a day like yesterday when I was supposed to be in a meeting at 10. Oops.

But the only thing more embarrassing than walking into the office an hour and a half late is walking into the office an hour and a half late with sheet creases across my face and arms. So, just in case it wasn’t already clear to everyone why I was late, they can all obviously see that I was sound asleep in my comfy bed while the rest of the world carried on for hours like normal, professional people.

I’m amazed that I’m ever able to keep a regular job.