Monkey Picked Iron Goddess of Mercy

Yesterday, my roommates and I went to Samovar, the tea place around the corner from my house. The food and atmosphere is amazing. And their tea, at roughly $7-$9 a pop, is also quite impressive. Though not quite as amazing as the menu would have you believe.

Their Hika Sencha has an “unbounded creamy, buttery body, and warm-apricot-marmalade-on-toasted-english-muffin taste.”

So I ordered a cup. Turns out it just tastes like tea.

Their famed oolong, Monkey Picked Iron Goddess of Mercy claims to “Penetrate your issues and dissolve them.”

I had a sip of that too. My issues remain present.

The menu. It lies.