I’m a bad cleaner.

Have I told you yet about the stain? There’s a giant white stain in the backyard where I tried to clean my Burning Man tent. I say tried, because it’s still not particularly clean. But the hosing down and the drying off did manage to leave a mark on my landlady’s newly refinished back patio.

I don’t know what to do about it.

I’ve tried hosing it down.
I’ve tried mopping it with wood soap.
I’ve wiped it down with vinegar.
I’ve gotten on my hands and knees and scrubbed with a scrub brush and dish soup.

It’s still there.

I’ve decided, for this reason, not to even try anymore. Roommates, I apologize, but Audrey’s cleaning days are over. I’ll do other chores, like turning the channel on the TV, or eating your food.