Gung Hay Fat Choy

Chinese New Year brings back fond and fearful memories. No, not of colorful firecrackers, nor of red envelopes filled with money nor of giant Chinese dragons parading up Kearny Street. But memories of a particular chicken dish at a particular Chinese restaurant chain for which I advertised for many years.

This particular restaurant chain promotes the same chicken dish every February as if it’s new. In fact, they often go out of their way to make it “new,” by adding a feature like 30% more crunch! (i.e. water chestnuts, because they are in fact, cheaper than chicken). Though they didn’t go for my suggested headline of “Now with 30% less chicken!”

As part of this Chinese New Year promotion, I would write an ad campaign including print ads, radio commercials, a website and what they call instore. Instore included anything in the store like signage, cups, menu boards and fortune cookies. Yes, the fortune cookies were included in the promotion.

See, and you thought wise old Chinese men sat in dusty factories inscribing predictions for your future. Nope. These clairvoyant messages come from a surly copywriter, sitting in her sterile office cubical staring at a computer screen, trying to bang out 150 fortunes that relate to the Chinese New Year containing 76 characters or less. It wasn’t easy.

Especially since some of my best ideas got rejected. I thought it would be really funny if someone opened their cookie to see “What happens in Vegas really stays in Vegas” Or, in the New Years theme: “Enjoy this year. It will be your last.” Or of course, the old joke: “That wasn’t chicken.”

The temptation to write inappropriate fortunes was compounded by the fact that the year I was doing this was the Year of the Cock. I mean, come on.

My old coworker Amy was cleaning out some files and recently sent me the list of the fortunes that did make it to the cookie factory. So, if you ever get these as your fortunes, you’ll know that they were written by yours truly:

To soar like an eagle, you must first learn to waddle like a duck.

Don't get cocky in the Year of the Rooster.

If you cannot find wisdom within, try the Internet.

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
(After 100 I got bored and just started quoting song lyrics)

Thanks, Amy, for that little stroll down memory lane.