Unwanted summer guest

Dear unwanted summer guest,

You are not on our lease. You do not contribute to the cable bill. And you certainly are not adding any thought-provoking film selections to our Netflix queue. You are not welcome.

I am not generally squeamish, as girls go. I love spiders, snakes, and many rodents. But you! You with your hairy legs and shiny brownish color. I cannot stand to be in the same room as you.

You managed to stay scarce all fall, winter and spring. Why this sudden return? I have no food for you. No enticing scent. No attractive lady waterbugs for you to mate with.

So please. Stay outside where you belong. And take your friends.

Kind regards

Audrey


This is what I woke up to yesterday morning. Check out the antennae, those things could poke an eye out. I know it's hard to see scale in this photo. Look at the one below of the fireman, it was basically about the same size as him.