Fancy Pants

This weekend, I took the opportunity of being in Canada to purchase some very expensive, very fancy Canadian workout pants. These fancy pants boast all kinds of special features like "chafe-free flat seams," "4-way stretch" and "quick-dry wicking action."

None of these hyphenated features matter to me though. The reason I spent the $86 plus tax (that's 86 Canadian dollars, mind you, which is only 82% of $86 in real money), is because they make my butt look good. And that is the one and only reason for LuLuLemon's vast success. (note: not my butt pictured below.)



These fancy new gym pants are part of a ploy to get myself to the gym more often. A bribe, if you will - I'm only allowed to wear the ass-flattering pants while I'm working out.

How sad is it that I must bribe myself to perform what should be regular healthy activities? If you exercise, you get to wear the fancy Canadian pants. If you get out of bed in the morning, you get to watch Golden Girls with your cereal. If you make it through a day of writing about constipation, you get to have a vodka-soda after work.

You can already tell what kind of mother I'm going to be.