The big one

“Yes, the Bay Area is beautiful,” my coworkers agree when I sing the praises of home. “But I could never live in California; the Big One is coming.”

The Big One, to which these silly New Yorkers refer is the big earthquake. It’s a common perception that cracks me up about East Coasters. Why is everyone so afraid of earthquakes? Hurricanes, murders, war, traffic accidents, terrorist attacks, those are scary. Earthquakes? Earthquakes are fun. Clearly these people have never experienced an earthquake. Granted, I’ve never had my house collapse, or had anyone close to me get hurt in an earthquake, but I was present in Berkeley for the “Big One” of 1989.

Here’s what I like about earthquakes: I view them as little rumbling reminders of who’s in charge.

It’s stupid humans that are responsible for disasters of every other kind. People’s negligence and poor driving cause fatal car accidents. The inequality of society results in riots, gang violence and murder. Our religious and national leaders can’t get along, creating wars and terrorism. Our pollution has messed up the weather patterns to intensify hurricanes and floods.

But seismic activity, that is simply out of our control. Ain’t no human gonna fuck with those giant tectonic plates. Ha.