over promising-shmover shmomising

As if it’s not bad enough that I’m writing about shit. I’m not even allowed to write well about shit. Advertising should be straightforward. It should be strong. It should be direct.

BUT, when it comes to pharmaceuticals, there are laws about advertising that prevent it being a number of things: straightforward, strong, direct and good, are just a few of them.

The clients, and the clients' lawyers are constantly concerned about “over-promising.” We can’t say that the drug will treat all your symptoms, because that would be over-promising. We can’t say that it provides consistent relief, because that would be over-promising. Implying that the drug WORKS is, in fact, over-promising.

Here is how my recent copy went to the client:

You’re on your way to relief.

It seems like you’ve tried everything to get rid of your symptoms but nothing works.
Chronic Constipation is a real medical conditions caused by a slow moving digestive system. As a physician, I know that fiber and laxatives don’t always help. You need real effective treatment.

That’s why _______ was invented. _______ is the only solution that helps your digestive system function more normally by coordinating the nerves, muscles and fluids in your GI tract. This provides ongoing relief so you can feel more like your real self.

Talk to your doctor today!

And this is how it looks now, after their lawyers hacked away at my creativity:

You’re might be on your way to somewhere near relief.

It seems like you may have tried some things to get rid of your symptoms but nothing works very well. Chronic Constipation may be a real medical conditions that might possibly be caused by a slow moving digestive system. As a physician, I have a feeling that fiber and laxatives may not help some of the time. You may desire a treatment that can be considered by some to be more effective.

_______ is one of many solutions that may possibly help your digestive system function slightly more normally by coordinating the nerves, muscles and fluids in your GI tract. This can potentially provide relief so you might start to feel a little bit better. Maybe.

You are more than welcome to talk to your doctor sometime soon. Maybe even today. Or next week. Whenever.