I suck at dietary restrictions

A couple weeks ago, I decided I was going to try being vegan. That lasted about a day until I realized that I could never live without cheese, so I decided I was going to be vegetarian. A vegetarian that eats fish, of course, because I love fish. Then I ate a grilled chicken salad. As of now, I’m not eating red meat.

I also decided that I was going to give up sugar. Which quickly changed to giving up refined sugar. One Ben and Jerry’s ice cream cone later, I decided I was going to not eat things with high fructose corn syrup. Then I was offered a free Doctor Pepper. I’ve now decided I’m not going to BUY things with high fructose corn syrup.

So now, to make my life simpler, I’ve decided that I will not eat things that contain beef and corn syrup. Together.

Would I like one of your caramel-coverage sausages? No thank you. Okay, well, maybe just one bite.